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"Joke of the Day 2" - Page 5
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Thread: "Joke of the Day 2"

  1. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default

    "What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
    "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
    "Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
    "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
    "Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

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  2. #42
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

    The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

    'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

    The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

    'Try it now,' said one bee.

    The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

    The bee answered,



    Wait for it...wait for it...



    You're just gonna love this..
    Last edited by MiloMorai; 12th November 2009 at 22:19.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default Hey Dysfunctional Family

    I've been away from the forum awhile cause I've been focused on trying to go back to school but it's good to see this thread still going and people still laughing,as well as to catch up on all current events and TA that I see is still around.Maple sorry your having bad week feel better and hello to everyone.


    George Bush was visiting an Elementry School and during a Vocabulary class decided to help out .He turned to the class and said "Can anyone tell me what a tragedy is"One little girl raised her hand and said"If a car hit me that would be a tradegy "and Bush said "No dear that would be a crying shame"Another little boy raised his hand and said"If our school bus fell off a cliff that would be a tradegy"and Bush said "No son that would be a great loss"Finally a little boy in the back raised his hand and said"Iknow if Air Force 1 went down with you in it that would be a tradegy"and Bush very pleased said "Yes that is correct how did you know"the little bot replied "Cause it wouldn't be a crying shame or a great loss"
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LoboNoches View Post
    I've been away from the forum awhile cause I've been focused on trying to go back to school but it's good to see this thread still going and people still laughing,as well as to catch up on all current events and TA that I see is still around.Maple sorry your having bad week feel better and hello to everyone.


    George Bush was visiting an Elementry School and during a Vocabulary class decided to help out .He turned to the class and said "Can anyone tell me what a tragedy is"One little girl raised her hand and said"If a car hit me that would be a tradegy "and Bush said "No dear that would be a crying shame"Another little boy raised his hand and said"If our school bus fell off a cliff that would be a tradegy"and Bush said "No son that would be a great loss"Finally a little boy in the back raised his hand and said"Iknow if Air Force 1 went down with you in it that would be a tradegy"and Bush very pleased said "Yes that is correct how did you know"the little bot replied "Cause it wouldn't be a crying shame or a great loss"
    HA HA HA HA HA

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Smile Definitions

    For your entertainment

    Fish-Sticks: (1) the product which best captures the essence of the commodity economy
    (2) what a trout does when you throw it hard enough at a Starbuck's window

    Minimum Wage: the minimum amount necessary to forestall revolution

    Phone Book: the thickness of every activist's CSIS/CIA file if you ask them

    Sell Out: what we'd be willing to do if anyone was willing to buy

    Suburban Angst: the realization that the new SUV won't fit in the garage

    Freedom: longer chains, bigger cages.

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default

    How old are you the kid asks his mother?

    32 she answers.

    The kis starts a huge laugh and the says yeah right

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  7. #47
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

    MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

    When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.



    PS Blonde or not, if you don't get it, just move on and don't give it another thought...

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    Once upon a time there was a little ghost who wanted to go out haunting
    on halloween, But he didn't have anything to wear.

    So he went to all the other ghosts to see if he could borrow a costume.
    But he had to stay home.


    Because nobody gave a sheet

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,131

    Default

    How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

    5000.

    One to hold the chair, one to hold the light bulb and 4998 to collect the taxes to pay for the light bulb!
    "The bank hath benefit on the interest on all monies which it creates out of nothing." - Bank of England charter 1694

    "the centralization of wealth in the hands of the state by means of a national bank with an exclusive monopoly" - Karl Marx, Communist Manifesto

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default funny too

    Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

    Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

    The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

    Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

    "Hmm," says the Doctor,

    He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

    The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

    "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

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