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"Joke of the Day 2" - Page 4
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Thread: "Joke of the Day 2"

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Talking

    The FBI,The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), and the ATF are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

    The FBI goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"


    The ATF goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MiloMorai View Post
    The FBI,The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), and the ATF are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

    The FBI goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"


    The ATF goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
    lol that is messed up
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    177

    Default Golf Joke

    A man is about to putt, when he stops takes off his hat and puts his hand over his heart. The other golfers see a funeral going by and do the same. After the funeral has passed one of the golfers says Sam I really thought that was touching how you have respect for the departed and stopped the game until the funeral procession had gone by. Sam looks up to his friend and says " what can I say, she was a good wife"

    Alles Ahil Molochl

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nehpets View Post
    A man is about to putt, when he stops takes off his hat and puts his hand over his heart. The other golfers see a funeral going by and do the same. After the funeral has passed one of the golfers says Sam I really thought that was touching how you have respect for the departed and stopped the game until the funeral procession had gone by. Sam looks up to his friend and says " what can I say, she was a good wife"

    Alles Ahil Molochl
    Wow now that is messed up bro lol
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

    In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

    The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.



    After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

    Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullshit!'

    The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MiloMorai View Post
    Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

    In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

    The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.



    After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

    Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullshit!'

    The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'

    LOL Dude you need therapy
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    I kid you not.... New Wine for Seniors


    California Vineyards in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc,
    Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
    It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
    The new wine will be marketed as



    PINO MORE

    Oh! I'm a funny guy lets face it

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default jokes

    This is crime story:
    5 friends lived in aroom. Namely- Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody, Nobody.
    One day Somebody killed Nobody, that time brain was in bathroom, Mad called police
    Mad: Is it police station?
    police: Yes, What's the matter
    Mad: Somebody killed nobody
    Police: Are u mad,
    Mad: yes I am mad
    police: don't u've Brain,
    Mad: Brain is in Bathroom.
    Police: are u fool
    Mad: no, Fool is reading the massage

    James

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  9. #39
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Too Far Out To Get Back
    Posts
    866

    Default Surreally Stupid

    Okay, now the Two Little Morons are in jail.

    One turns to the other and says, "You got a flashlight?"

    The moron checks his knapsack and, sure enought, pulls out a flashlight.

    The other moron says, "Let me see that." He takes the flashlight, turns it on, and points the beam high up at a window on the opposite side of the cell.

    He says, "Here's what we do. You crawl up the beam, open up the window, and we'll get on out of here!"

    The other moron says, "Nuthin' doin." I'd get halfway up the beam, and you'd turn the flashlight off!"
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

    Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
    that's how dogs spend their lives.

    I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

    News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

    CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

    This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

    I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

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