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"Joke of the Day 2" - Page 3
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Thread: "Joke of the Day 2"

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hiyosilver View Post
    ok, one more....in most cases pronounce th as in three....

    Lenny, my hairlip friend, came to work one Monday morning with both his eyes black....
    I looked at him in shock and said, "Lenny! Where in the heck did you get those black eyes?!"
    He said sheepishly, "I got em in churtth yethterday."
    Surprised, I said, "How in the heck did you get black eyes in church?"
    He said, "Well, There wuth thith big fat lady thittin in the pew in front of me....and when we thtood up to thing a thong, I notithed her dreth wuth thtuck in the crack of her ath.....Tho, I reatthed over and pulled it out for her.....and the turned around an hit me in the eye!"
    Cracking up, I eventually was able to choke out the words, "Well, how did you get the other black eye?"
    To which he convincingly replied, "Well, I thought I pithed her off, tho, the necthed time we thtood up to thing a thong, I reatthed over and thtuffed it back in there for her...........
    Now that is to funny
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Too Far Out To Get Back
    Posts
    866

    Default

    Q: What does a sadist say to a masochist?

    A: No.
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Too Far Out To Get Back
    Posts
    866

    Default It Hits The Spot (Or Rubs It Out)

    After explaining what stuttering was to her class, the teacher asked the children if they knew of people who stuttered.

    A young girl raised her hand and when called upon, she announced that the other day her cat stuttered.

    The teacher calmly told her that animals don't stutter because they can't talk. The young girl insisted that it was true, her cat did stutter. Her teacher then curiously asked her to explain what she meant.

    The little girl told her teacher that she was in the garden playing with her cat when a big dog jumped over the fence. Her cat's back arched up and he started hissing, going "fff...fff...fff...," but the dog ate him before he could say "****!"
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Lol........
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  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

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    Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake..
    The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand
    How you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same
    Size as kids. I just don't get it."

    "Well," said the big Gator, "what have you been eating?"

    "Politicians, same as you," replied the small Gator.

    "Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

    "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."

    "Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?"

    "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock
    The car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the **** out
    Of them and eat 'em!"

    "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You're not
    Getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the ****
    Out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MiloMorai View Post
    Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake..
    The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand
    How you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same
    Size as kids. I just don't get it."

    "Well," said the big Gator, "what have you been eating?"

    "Politicians, same as you," replied the small Gator.

    "Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

    "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."

    "Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?"

    "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock
    The car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the **** out
    Of them and eat 'em!"

    "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You're not
    Getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the ****
    Out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.
    Now that is frigging hysterical
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Two Frogs were having sex in the pond.While in the middle of a 69 the one frog stops and says "Hey honey there right we do taste like chicken"
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    384

    Default

    What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
    One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

    Oh! I'm A Riot

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Exclamation Warning very politically incorrect

    Did you hear the news .There going to cremate Michael Jackson.With all the left over plastic there going to make Collectible Lego's so little kids can play with him instead
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Guadalatucky Mexifornia
    Posts
    897

    Default

    A group of geese on the ground is called a gaggle.
    A group of fish is a school.
    A group of cows, a herd.
    A group of crows is a murder of crows.


    What do you call a group of lawyers?




























    A slick.

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    Omnis combibo

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