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"Joke of the Day 2"
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Thread: "Joke of the Day 2"

  1. #1
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    Apr 2009
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    459

    Default "Joke of the Day 2"

    A rich bussinessman is waiting at the airport for his flight when an anouncement over the speaker says that his plane has a 6 hour delay.Seeing as how he had time to kill he heads over to the airport bar for a few drinks.After about a half hour this absolutely gorgeous woman walks in and sits at the bar,the bussinessman immediately orders her a drink and they get to talking.After about another half hour the guy turns to her and says look your the most beautiful woman I've ever seen I'll give you $5000 if you sleep with me ,the woman replys sure.They drink for another hour or so and then the guy turns to her and said you know I was thinking maybe I'll give you $200 instead.The woman is outraged and said sir what kind of woman do you think I am .The guy replys I already know what kind of woman you are right now were just haggling price
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    384

    Smile

    Ok Ok My Favorite

    A dog walked into a bar
    A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. With that a man at the bar said I don't want to drink at the same bar as this dog. The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the
    dog in the foot. With that the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

    A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on
    either side, and a black bandage around his sore foot. He goes up to the bar and says to the bar tender "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw"

    Yuk Yuk

  3. #3
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    Default This One Sucks Even More

    I hit the movie theatre.

    The usher asks if I want to sit down in front.

    I said, "No, thanks, I don't bend that way."
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    384

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by SeekrBrnEvryMin View Post
    I hit the movie theatre.

    The usher asks if I want to sit down in front.

    I said, "No, thanks, I don't bend that way."




    Ha Ha Ha Oh Seek your the king, your the king of comediens, baby that is
    totally peerless when it comes to jokes.
    Thats better than mine, Kudos Kudos

    Milo

  5. #5
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    Default You've Come A Long Way, Baby...Let's Go Back

    Wish I wrote that. That's from the turn of the last century.
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    384

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SeekrBrnEvryMin View Post
    Wish I wrote that. That's from the turn of the last century.
    Think i started saying that in the 90's, i never did say it
    in the 60's,70's or 80's
    Maybe i mellowed out or something

  7. #7
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    Default Let's Tell Another One From Back When

    OK, another one from the classic, clean humor days. (Moron jokes were popular "back when.")


    Two morons are at a house putting on a new roof.

    One moron sees the other moron picking up a nail, examining it closely, and hammering it in.

    Then picking up another nail, examining it, and throwing it over his shoulder.

    Then picking up another, looking at it, and hammering it in.

    The first moron interrupts and says, "What are you doing, picking up nails, hammering half of them in, and throwing the other half away?"

    The second moron says, "Well, half of the nails have the heads on the wrong end."

    The first one says, "You moron, those are for the other side of the roof!"
    “Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.”
    - James Harvey Robinson

    "The more we convince others, the more we convince ourselves."
    - The Tongue and Quill

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SeekrBrnEvryMin View Post
    OK, another one from the classic, clean humor days. (Moron jokes were popular "back when.")


    Two morons are at a house putting on a new roof.

    One moron sees the other moron picking up a nail, examining it closely, and hammering it in.

    Then picking up another nail, examining it, and throwing it over his shoulder.

    Then picking up another, looking at it, and hammering it in.

    The first moron interrupts and says, "What are you doing, picking up nails, hammering half of them in, and throwing the other half away?"

    The second moron says, "Well, half of the nails have the heads on the wrong end."

    The first one says, "You moron, those are for the other side of the roof!"
    Now that my friend is priceless .Sad part is I know couple people like that lol
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    That big area in between Arizona and Texas where the national weatherman always stands
    Posts
    152

    Default

    A man with no arms approaches a church that has "bellringer wanted" taped to the front door.He bangs on the door and a priest answers, "I'd like to apply for the bell ringers job" he says. The priest feeling a little uncomfortable answers"well I don't have to tell you ,but ,you have no arms.How will you ring the bell"? "Thats ok" the man replies, "its 12;45 lets go up to the belfry and I'll show you".When they get to the top of the tower they wait for 1 O'CLOCK to roll around and when it does the man runs full speed at the bell and hits it with his head. BONG, then ducked under it as it swung back."Are you allright" ? The priest asked. "I'm fine" the man said, "do I get the job"? "I suppose so" said the priest. For months everything went smoothly ,the man rang the bell faithfully. Then one day at noon he didn't duck far enough when the bell swung back and it knocked him from the belfry killing him when he landed in front of the church.A crowd gathered and someone asked "who is this guy? Does anybody know his name"? Well..... someone answered I've seen him around ,but ,I don't know his name. His face rings a bell though.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mountainmurph View Post
    A man with no arms approaches a church that has "bellringer wanted" taped to the front door.He bangs on the door and a priest answers, "I'd like to apply for the bell ringers job" he says. The priest feeling a little uncomfortable answers"well I don't have to tell you ,but ,you have no arms.How will you ring the bell"? "Thats ok" the man replies, "its 12;45 lets go up to the belfry and I'll show you".When they get to the top of the tower they wait for 1 O'CLOCK to roll around and when it does the man runs full speed at the bell and hits it with his head. BONG, then ducked under it as it swung back."Are you allright" ? The priest asked. "I'm fine" the man said, "do I get the job"? "I suppose so" said the priest. For months everything went smoothly ,the man rang the bell faithfully. Then one day at noon he didn't duck far enough when the bell swung back and it knocked him from the belfry killing him when he landed in front of the church.A crowd gathered and someone asked "who is this guy? Does anybody know his name"? Well..... someone answered I've seen him around ,but ,I don't know his name. His face rings a bell though.
    Good one my friend keeps the laughs coming
    "I know where Daddy keeps his Silver Shhhhhh"(I loves my precious hehehe)

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