PDA

View Full Version : Do your own homework



Round Town
18th June 2008, 13:46
I awoke one sunny saturday morning and I could smell coffee brewing. I quickly realized that my wife was already up, as in that she was not laying beside me snoring like she does that keeps me awake half the night. I'm very deductive like that.
So I got up and went to the kitchen where my wife was cooking.
"Whats' for breakfast?" I asked. "Breakfast?" she said "how about brunch, its 11:00 o'clock." I looked at my wristwatch then realized that I don't wear a watch because I don't care about time. Time is a human creation that has no essence, just like FRNs that are fiat because they are not backed by silver which does have essence and value. And its shiny. Time doesn't shine.
"Okay then, whats for brunch?". Then she said those magic words that I ever so longing love to hear, "Your favorite, silver dollar pancakes!". OH BOY!!

I went to the dining room and sat down, rubbing my hands together and salivating in anticipation, as my 8 year old daughter Angela came hippity-hopping into the room. With her long blonde hair flowing gracefully behind her. Just like an angel. I don't know where she gets all that energy from.
She asks "Daddy,... can you help me with my homework?" "Sure" I said, "whats your assignment?". "The Great Pyramids at Giza, I have to do a report about how they were built" she replied. "But why are you asking me honey?. "Well" she said "Mommy said you were an old geezer so I thought you would know all about it"

I leaned forward and peered around the corner into the kitchen. There was my wife, flipping pancakes and looking over her shoulder at me with a devilish grin on her face. Devilish indeed I thought. I know there is a devil in her. My wife! The bible describes a wife as being a help-mate for man. Help-mate, she is no help to me. Oh sure, she does all the cooking and cleaning, cuts the grass and cleans out the gutters, changes the oil and overhauls the trannys in our cars. But other than that she is no help at all!!! My wife, she aint no wife,.....shes' the anti-wife. And my little angel, imp that she is, she is the false prophet. One day I know, when she opens her mouth, frogs and locusts are going to come out of it!!!! But I digress.

"Well, okay then, we'll get started right after bre.. er brunch."

So Angela and I went to my home office and sat down. And I said "Okay, now I'm going to tell you all about the Great Pyramids and you write everything I tell you into your report. "Okay daddy, Im ready" she said.

"First thing you need to know is that the pyramids weren't real at all, but they are a pyramid scheme devised by egyptian bankers and the pharoahs".
"Daddy", she said "I don't think thats right". "Well, who do you think would know? An old geezer like me, who was there or you?" "so just listen and write this down."
The first pharoah was named Wilson, he devised a plan with the bankers to make money out of debt so he could borrow money to build the pyramids, and he gave the bankers the sole right to print Nile Reed Notes, NRN's for short. At that time, pharoah Wilson allowed the bankers to back their NRNs with the gold in the treasury at Cairo and made it like a great big christmas present to all the people in his empire.
After some years went by there were so many NRNs that it was depleting all the gold out of the treasury. They were spending alot of them building the pyramids. So the pharoah Roosevelt made it illegal for people to own gold and passed a royal decree that said all the people had to take their gold to the banks in exchange for NRNs. This decree made the people sad but there was nothing they could do. The pharoah had the final say. The next pharoah to be invovled in the scheme was named Johnson. You see, by the time Johnson became pharoah they barely had the foundations laid for the pyramids. And the cost were skyrocketing, so pharoah Johnson passed a royal decree called the Coin-act of BC 2500. This act took all of the silver out of coins and made all the people in the empire really poor. But Johnson, being a very wise pharoah declared a war on poverty and captured poor people and put them in prison and also sent them off to war so that there would be less people crying in the streets because they were poor.
By the time the next pharoah, named Nixon, came to the throne the people were furious all over the world. The empire was still at war and other empires were demanding the gold out of the treasury for the NRNs that they held. So Nixon, being a very tricky man, went to his golden window and hollered out at the world,"It's our NRNs but its your problem " and then he closed the golden window so he wouldn't have to listen to it.

"But, dad, when did they finish building the pyramids?" my daughter asked.
"Well honey, they never did. See here on this one dollar FRN how there is no capstone on top, but an eye? They are still looking for the money to pay for it."

"Did you get all of that?" I asked my little angel. "Yeah, I think so" she replied.
"Good, now go to your room and type that all up on your computer and when your done, make enough copies to give to all of your classmate and teachers at school" "Okay daddy." She said as she bounced gleefully down the hallway.
I don't know where she gets all of that energy.

And let this be a lesson to the rest of the world. Do your own homework!

The view from my pile, yours may be different.
Bob AKA the old geezer
Hehehee!

strongman shelford
18th June 2008, 14:07
Round town ... AWESOME :p

I read your lines , and I said "this guy is Michael Moore"...

let`s shot this movie: Bowling for Silver....